This isn’t intended to be a pity party post, but today my face hurts. Allergies suck at the best of times. It’s especially tough when I am trying to make use of my facial features, or body shape and hopefully earn some money. I am very aware of the days when I don’t like what I see in the mirror.
Why I am sharing these thoughts with you?
I guess I am trying to be honest about what it’s like to work in front of the camera when your skin seems to have a mind of its own. There is a pressure to need to be constantly on top of your game when working in front of the camera. As an older model, with allergies and an atopic skin type, I feel this even more keenly. Watching what I eat to avoid a bad skin reaction. Making sure I get myself to the gym often enough to maintain a generally good level of muscle tone and flexibility.
Generally I am at peace with having a body which has been in the world for nearly 50 years. I accept the stiff and worn out joints. The wrinkles in the skin, and the bags under my eyes.
The problems come when I have an allergic reaction to food. My ability to look for work could be affected, and I judge what I see in the mirror. When I think the “damage” is self-inflicted, I can be really quite harsh towards myself.
Allergies whilst growing up
In terms of allergies, things are easier for me these days. As a teenager, there was almost no awareness of food allergies. My skin was a mess across my whole body. Red, swollen, and itchy. Chest, back, neck, arm, legs. Sleep was difficult, and my morning routine involved applying steroid creams to my whole body. If sweat or water got into open skin, it burned like acid. Even smiling was painful and ran the risk of tearing my skin. This affected how I was with my friends.
As a teen, the only response was to use progressively stronger and stronger medication to try to calm or repair the skin. My face was once so bad, that the only thing a doctor could give me was a steroid cream intended for light use on the torso. He basically said to apply a thick layer on my face. This astounded me. The fact that there was no real understanding or care-plan for what I was going through. No diagnostic awareness. Nothing …
Later, as doctors became more aware of allergies, more testing became available. After moving to Finland in 2005, we were able to access the health service here. With simple blood tests, and prick tests, I quickly found out what I was allergic to. This was an absolute game changer for me. WE discovered a long list of food items and environmental allergens causing me problems. No wonder I had been suffering so much all these years! Of all the food allergies, cow’s milk is the absolute worst. Even now, after not consuming it now for many years, my eyes and face swell if I ingest some by mistake.
The pictures for this blog post show the aftermath of having a fully vegan pizza cooked in the same oven as a pizza with mozzarella cheese. The milk protein transferred in the hot air to my pizza. The skin around my eyes is swollen and broken. My cheeks feel puffy. My treatment regime is familiar. Lots of moisturiser, maybe some Bepanthen, and anti-histamines. If it’s not calmed down after a week, a Prednisolone tablet daily for two or three days will bring the runaway autoimmune reaction to a halt.
It is so frustrating whilst I wait for my skin to heal. It feels that my searching for work has to go on hold.
All said and done, having a full understanding of what I am allergic to, has made all the difference. Now that I am in control of my diet, the condition of my skin is generally really good. I need only apply occasional moisturiser to my face. This feels like such a blessing when think of where I have come from.
From experience, I know that my skin will recover in a day or so. I just need to trust my body’s processes and be patient.
This moment is this moment. Today is this day. This week is this week. In this, I find peace
So proud of you Alex ❤️
Thank you! 🥹❤️